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Edward Scissorhands

Director: Tim Burton Run Time: 105 min. Format: DCP Release Year: 1990

Starring: Alan Arkin, Anthony Michael Hall, Dianne Wiest, Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder

Eddy is a bit of a soft sad boy, but the neighbours grow to love him considering his wonderful topiatric skill. My grandfather combed a tree into a rectangular shape, and that was a minor marvel, so I can’t imagine how Vincent Price’s boy made all his extravaganzas. There’s a porno called Edward Penis Hands, and my sister spotted it in the video shop and thought it was “Penishands”, which sounds pretty aristocratic.

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