Elvis acolyte, Sir Nicolas Cage, stars as himself but named Sailor Ripley. He meets young Lula Fortune, of Laura Dern fame. They are HORNY for each other. Lula’s mum can’t stand it, hiring Harry Dean Stanton to find them and also a hitman to kill them. She covers her entire face in lipstick, ’cause sometimes you just gotta do the thing. Willem Dafoe gets called Bobby Peru and has a disgusting set of teeth. Off Sailor and Lula go down the yellow brick highway into infamy and, of course, our hearts.